As if the divorce wasn’t traumatic enough, many children feel a sense of additional loss when they also must face single mothers dating. What to tell to your child about your search for companionship is a personal choice, but some things are pretty generic. It’s important to shield the child from further trauma and often, that means taking a relationship slower than usual and not exposing the child to a potential mate until it has become a bit more solid.
Children can be resistant to the idea of single mothers dating. What to tell to your child should be done with the utmost respect for their feelings, in honesty, and integrity. It’s quite normal for a child to dislike the idea of sharing their mother. They may feel panicked that the mothers may prefer the new person to themselves or that they will lose time with their parent. Assure them that they continue to be your number one priority and that a new person will only be allowed into the family if they enhance the family, which includes your child.
A child may have many questions about single mothers dating. What to tell to your child about matters of sexuality or intimacy can be dependent on age. An older child will recognize a mother’s wish for companionship and may be more open to these discussions. Younger children should not be exposed to a series of men or the intimate details of a mother’s dating life. Many mothers choose not even to introduce their dates until after the honeymoon period of a dating relationship has passed, about three months.
For single mothers dating, what to tell to your child can be very tricky. There is a fine line of revealing too much while trying to remain and honest and open relationship with your child. If the relationship has reached a point where you want to introduce your child to your boyfriend, then sit down and explain that you are having company. Don’t spring a date on them, because they remember that as an unpleasant surprise.
Bringing a man home to get to know the children has to be one of the most delicate situations for single mothers dating. What to tell to your child about this new person should be kept to a minimum. Describe him, what he does, how long you’ve known him, and leave it at that. Let the child make up its own mind. Don’t try to sell them on him and don’t try to negotiate a good date. Don’t compare them to their father while he is there. Don’t hope it’ll be perfect the first time around and do give it a couple of tries, not just one. Once having met your potential mate, the child will have more questions, which they will ask after your man leaves. Answer those with honesty and forthrightness and, hopefully, you all will be on the golden road to making a brand new family.