Single mothers are not a rare breed anymore, but they are a wise and wily one. Although some are single mothers by choice, many more are the product of a divorced home or the death of a spouse. In addition to being the breadwinner for their family, they also continue to be the emotional support system for their children and sometimes even their aging parents. This trial by fire makes single mothers particularly judicious of whom they choose to date and when. If you find yourself attracted to single mothers, here are some tips on dating single mothers to endear you to single mothers everywhere.
Don’t Assume She Can’t Get A Date
Many men have the opinion that when you are a single mother, your choices are limited. Some even feel that they are making some grand concession by choosing to date a single mother. Wise up, guys! In this day and age, single mothers are more prevalent and, with the aid of the Internet, they get out more too.
If you hold a bias against single mothers, there are plenty others who don’t. If you are prejudiced against having a relationship with a single mother, then don’t. If you think that she might be that special someone, then keep your opinions on single mothers to yourself. Telling her you’ve made a concession is tantamount to calling her damaged goods.
Please don’t assume she can’t get a date. It’s simply not true and such prejudice usually is easy to smell a mile away. Most single mothers are very discriminating and will instinctively recoil at that scent. One of the tips on dating single mothers is to appreciate her for who she is, not because you think you are doing her some grand favor.
Don’t Avoid Or Try To Influence The Children
If you’ve made it to the point where she wants to introduce you to the children: Don’t blow it. Here there are only two tips on dating single mothers: don’t avoid and don’t smother. It takes a delicate balance and you have to play it by ear. Expect some resistance from the children who know that if mom is introducing a boyfriend, it might get serious. On the other hand, there are children of single mothers who can’t wait to see their mother’s first choice and will open you with open arms. Single mothers tend to be very picky about whom they bring home and about whom they present to their extended families.
Single mothers generally will shield their children from fly-by-night boyfriends so as not to emotionally traumatize them. If you get the chance to meet her children, do not blow it! Let them approach you in the manner that they choose and don’t try to avoid or influence them in any manner. Don’t let them smell your fear! Take a light-hearted attitude but realize that if you’ve made it this far, you’ve made it further then most men in a single mother’s dating life.
Don’t Try To Play Poppa
She is dating you, not marrying you. A single mother may actually not be in the market for a replacement father for her children. Odds are, she has kept the family together and managed it quite well without a father figure. When she chooses to date again, it may be for her own fulfillment and pleasure and have nothing to do with building a family. She is used to disciplining and caring for her children alone. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want help, it means you need to be cautious about trying to make yourself a father figure too soon. While you can make suggestions to ease her child-caring responsibilities, like paying for babysitting, don’t try to take on the role of father without her permission. Although it may be hard to resist the temptation one of the best tips on dating single mothers is: Don’t attempt to discipline her children without her permission.
All of these tips on dating single mothers really have one thing in common: patience and maturity. Do you have the patience to devote time to building a relationship slowly and with more honesty and integrity than is normally needed? By choosing to do so, you can open yourself to a world of beauty already ready made and wisely protected as a single mother’s greatest treasure: her children.