If you’ve been around the dating scene for some time, odds are you’ve met and dated a single mother at some time. It’s important to understand the issues dating single mothers pose, not just to define what you want in a dating relationship, but also to keep your expectations realistic. The issues dating single mothers are many and varied. If you haven’t the patience or honesty to deal with them, then it’s probably a good thing not to – saving you both time and money. However, understanding the issues can help one decide whether to take the plunge into a rich personal world or opt for less complex dating relationships.
Do We Really Have To Call It Baggage?
Okay, it’s out in the open now. Many people call it baggage, while others might want to say it’s life experience. Baggage should be a term used for unresolved issues, not children. Children of divorced households are very sensitive at being seen as dead weights to a parent’s success, whether it is in dating or business. Yes, children can be selfish, but most want the best for their parents and children of single parents can often be the kindest most helpful children around. They will try to protect their mother, but they also will gladly share their affection with someone they feel is a good fit for their parent, as long as that person doesn’t try to take over a parental role. While dating, keep it light and be sensitive to the needs of a single mother. The children are your friends, not your enemies.
Time and Flexibility
One of the issues dating single mothers is that a normal spontaneous dating relationship is not an option. Children do come as a single mother’s first priority and their needs are something she works around trying to maintain some time for her while also juggling the need to make a living. This makes her schedule highly inflexible and dating may need to be planned a week or two in advance so babysitters can be lined up, or custody arrangements confirmed.
While it’s true that men live up to the social custom of paying for a date’s meal, the single mother may actually be paying more for babysitting then her date is shelling out for a meal. It may seem fitting in this day and age to ask a date to go Dutch or to contribute after dating for a while, but a single mother isn’t going to be up to enjoying herself while she is figuring how much money she’s spending on dates that could have gone to her children. Although you may want to share expenses at time with your dates, single mothers are less in a position to do so.
Why Date A Single Mother?
So, with all the issues dating single mothers have, why would anyone choose this route? Single mothers have usually spent years providing for their own households. They are stable and some even more well off then their single counterparts. They’ve been through it all most of the time and have deep reserves of love and commitment. They are not fly-by-night girlfriends and many men like cute dates but want women of character for more long-term relationships. In single mothers, men find a strength and honesty that would normally take years of immature dating relationships to build or discover. Single mothers can be wonderful companions and expert business partners too.
Children grow up and leave the nest eventually and if you can get a good woman, getting her all to yourself after the children leave will only be that much better. Children also add a dimension to life that very few single people can appreciate until they’ve experienced it. Unfortunately, most single mothers opt for men who are single fathers, as they typically understand the issues better than their single counterparts. But, if you want a mature, honest, and warm relationship, understand the issues dating single mothers and then make the plunge. But, be aware that patience and flexibility will be the hallmarks to this relationship, but it can be well worth it.