Most single mothers gain that status through death or divorce, although some single mothers became that way through choice. However, it happened, the birth of a child wasn’t seen as the end of their dating life. But, for some it can be. The issues dating single mothers have with lack of time, attention, and finances can quickly put a damper on their dating life.
Lack Of Time
Every working person seems to have this problem: too much to do and too little time to do it in. A single mother’s job is twice as hard as her married or childless counterparts. She must not only be the breadwinner for her family, but she must also not give up her care-taking role or the children suffer. If a single mother is blessed to have a good, steady job that is time spent away from her children. She still must come home and pull double-duty making meals, cleaning the house, and doing laundry. In addition, she may need to spend extra time with children who are sick or struggling in school. All of this quickly adds up to exhausting and emotional stress, hardly the qualities one looks for in a date.
In order for single mothers to feel ready to date, they must have reserved a little energy for themselves. If they do not have nights when the children are not in their custody, then it will need them to hire a babysitter or rely on a relative to provide child care. Without resolving the issues dating single mothers have with lack of time, it won’t be possible to meet a potential mate face to face and establish a personal relationship with someone who is also demanding time from her.
Lack Of Attention
Once the time issues is resolved by scheduling regular intervals when she is not caring for the children, a single mother must begin to focus on herself. It sounds easy, but she’s spent a great deal of time focusing on other people’s needs, and it may become difficult to focus on her own needs. The issues dating single mothers have are they’ve forgotten to think about their own needs.
Some women feel so burdened as single mothers that they spend the entire date they’re on talking about their former spouses or the problems they are having with their children. They’ve forgotten a date is for getting to know other people and instead of revealing themselves or being open to learning about someone new, they instead treat the date as a therapy session. Single mothers are overburdened, but dating isn’t the appropriate time to discuss those issues.
Lack of Finances
While a man is expected to pay for the dinners, often in today’s culture many dates begin to pay Dutch to alleviate expenses. The problem with this scenario is that a single mother is already paying for babysitting on top of whatever else she may choose to pitch in. Whereas the previous issues dating single mothers have can be alleviated by preparation and careful attention to herself, this issue has to be addressed together as a couple. If your budget is tight and your date begins to chafe at always paying for dinner, speak up and let them know what you are paying for. If the finance is an issue early in the relationship, it will only escalate as the relationship continues to develop. Be open, be frank and try to reach a good compromise. One doesn’t have to go to expensive dinners or movies to have a good date. Talking these things through with your date will lay a foundation so resentment over expenses doesn’t mount on either side.
Despite these significant issues dating single mothers have, many do choose to continue to date but are much more selective of their mates. As with all dating relationships, the key to a good relationship is open communication and understanding. For single mothers, it also means a devotion to take care of one’s self as well as others and to allow herself the time and attention she needs to foster a new a wonderful relationship with someone new.