With the many challenges a single mother faces, it sometimes is difficult to determine when it’s time to date again. When a spouse dies or a marriage ends, the dating scene may be the last thing on a mother’s mind. Her children, her finances, her job situation, her family support system, these are the things occupying her mind. It’s only after a period of time that she might realize that she might want to date again. So when is the right time as a single mother to decide whether to date again?
Oddly, some people may think it’s when the finances are in order and the children are grown. That may be well too late and many fine opportunities may have been missed by then for single mothers dating. Getting ready to date again is more a mental/emotional mission than a circumstance game.
Take Stock Of Who You Are And What You Want
- Are you physically able to devote time to a relationship?
- Are you in good health and in good form?
- Is your self-esteem high?
- Do you know what you want this time around?
- Do you know where to go for what you want?
Are You Physically Able To Devote Time To A Relationship?
Take stock of how much time in the week you actually have to yourself. Some of that will have to be shared with someone else if you start dating. Most single mothers are working 40 hours a week to make ends meet and coming home to pull double-duty at home. If your support system is weak and you have little time to give to anyone else, then build up your support system. Exchange babysitting with other single mothers, or ask relatives to watch the children now and then. Try to build more time into your schedule and remember not to short-change yourself!
Are You In Good Health And In Good Form?
The children may not mind if mommy is looking a little dumpy, but prospective dates will. When was the last time you got your hair done? Has your weight climbed since the divorce? Do you make time to exercise? Are you tired all the time and too worn down to date? Eating well, taking care of one’s physical and beauty needs are essential items for single mothers dating again. Single mothers dating must learn how to pamper their health. It will pay dividends when they are finally ready to date.
Is Your Self-Esteem High?
There’s no doubt about it: Dating can be grueling on the self-esteem. Being a single mother also affects one’s self-esteem. If you start with high self-esteem, you’ll be able to weather the ups and downs of dating easier and with less stress. Confidence and self-poise also are magnetic qualities to attract someone with equal good vibrations to you. If you don’t feel up to dating yet, try going out with a group of single friends to help you build your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Do You Know What You Want This Time Around?
Some women may get themselves in shape but have no idea what they want; they only know what they don’t want. This is a big mistake. It’s important that single mothers dating make out a list of qualities they wish before attempting to date someone totally unsuitable for them. Within that list, understand which items are negotiable and which are not.
Do You Know Where To Go For What You Want?
Some people have very basic religious needs that make it easy to go where potential mates might congregate, like a church. Others have less rigid expectations and the world, literally, is their oyster.
Unfortunately, with so much choice, it’s easy to waste a lot of time. After you’ve written down what you want, begin to figure out where you might go to get what you want. For single mothers dating there are a myriad of clubs and social activities around town that offer a ton of ways to find and meet new people. Try a few and see if they offer what you want. If not, move on. Eventually, someone will pop onto your radar screen that is just what you are looking for.