My inbox gets flooded every single day with emails from women who ask me “Your advice is great, but I’ve got kids. Will it work for me?” The answer is YES!
The same advice I give single women can be used by single mommas too. What I’m going to do in this article, though, is to specifically cater my advice for the single mommas out there, because as you know, single mothers need lovin’ too!
Now granted, I’ll be the first to admit that the dating pool for single mothers is a little smaller. There are men who will not date single mommas, but that does not mean that you cannot find a great and amazing guy. It just means that you need to learn how to flirt.
I know a lot of you walk around thinking that guys will not be interested in you because you have kids. At the same time, I know of a lot of single fathers and guys who will date single moms. There is just a certain way that you need to learn how to market yourself to the opposite sex.
First and foremost, do not presume that men will not want to date you because you have a few kids running around the house. Here are a few other tips that will help jump start your single mom dating life:
- Let’s say you are eyeballing Tall, Dark & Handsome who is in line near you, when little Johnny starts to throw a temper tantrum. Instead of yelling at him because he picked the wrong moment to start a temper tantrum when you were eyeballing Tall, Dark & Handsome, look at Tall, Dark & Handsome and say “Did you used to be like that when you were a kid?” Tall, Dark & Handsome will start laughing, and you will start flirting while little Johnny continues with his temper tantrum. I can’t think of a more romantic away to meet men.
- You are in the supermarket, and you and little Johnny are in heavy cereal negotiations. You want little Johnny to have the ‘breakfast of champions,’ and little Johnny (being a little man) might want to get lucky with Lucky Charms. As you’re in the middle of your negotiations with LJ (little Johnny), Tall, Dark & Handsome walks right by you. He’s laughing and smiling at the ongoing negotiations. Instead of ignoring him, grab those boxes of cereal out of LJ’s hand and say “Excuse me, can you help settle an argument? I want my son to be a champion, but he just wants magically delicious. Which one would you choose?”
- You go to the park and little Johnny (LJ) is playing with little Katie (LK). Did you ever think that LK’s father might be a single father? So instead of standing in the corner of the playground, take a look at the man who’s looking at LK. Smile, walk over, and talk about your kids.
- When online dating, it’s really important that the first picture a man sees of you in your profile is not one in which you are looking angry and changing a diaper. A man wants to see YOU, and not a picture of your whole family. Let him meet your family when the time is right, but don’t advertise the family on the Internet. When you do that, it looks like you are advertising for little Johnny’s next father.
- When writing an online profile, talk about your passions. Talk about things you like to do besides being a mother. I am not telling you not to talk about how passionate you are about being a mom. The only things that way too many women who are single mothers write about in their profile, however, are all the activities they do with their kids. We men know how much your kids mean to you. We just want to know that there’s a little time left over for you to have an adult relationship. So, in your profile, you could maybe write something like “When I am not performing my soccer mom duties, I look forward to some one-on-one adult time with my friends . . . and possibly you.” It’s all about how you word it.
- When you’re on a date, do not spend the entire date talking about little Johnny’s math achievements or his ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I’m glad that you are proud of your kid (and even show it on your car with a bumper sticker that says “Little Johnny is an honor student”), but when you are out on a date, let a man know all about what’s interesting about you besides your children. I am not telling you not to talk about your children, I’m telling you to keep the night balanced . . . talk some about the kids, and a talk a lot about the single mommy.
A man wants to know that you need him as a friend, as a companion and as a lover. He does not want to think that you are just out looking for a father for your kids.
When I date single moms, I already know they have kids. I want to make sure that the kids have a dad, so that if I come into their life I’ll just be an addition . . . and not the person driving the minivan on Tuesdays.
You have plenty of choices of men out there. To find them, it takes work and it takes understanding how to communicate. Some of the sexiest and most incredible women I’ve ever met have been single mommas. ‘Til next time . . .