This single mom dating guide is for those women who have suffered a divorce or bad break-up and are now ready to get back into the dating scene. If you are dating a new man, and have children, you also probably have some questions. When do you introduce your “new flame” to your children? What is the best way to introduce your new boyfriend to your children? In this article, I will answer these dating questions and touch on other important single mom dating rules.
When is the best time to introduce a new boyfriend to your kids?
There really is no set rule for when it is best to introduce your new boyfriend to your children. As a former single mom myself, I chose to not introduce a man I was dating to my two young sons until I felt that the relationship was one that could last the course. Parading a variety of men into your home, regardless of your child’s age, is never a good idea. Discretion in my opinion is best, but if your relationship is becoming serious, you do want to make sure that your boyfriend fits in well with the rest of your family. The last thing you want as a single mom is to be “in love” with a man who is not interested in your children. Therefore, in answer to the question above, the best time to introduce your boyfriend to your children is when you feel the relationship is getting serious.
What should you do if your children do not like your boyfriend?
My first piece of advice is to expect some resistance from your children. Bringing a new person into a family is rarely easy. If you have been on your own with your kids for a while then your children are probably not used to sharing your attention. Older children may be uncomfortable of the idea of “mom dating”. Pay attention to your children’s feelings, but do not let their resistance become your excuse for avoiding intimacy.
What is the best way to introduce a new boyfriend to your children?
I like the idea of the first introduction being done as a casual date outside of the family home. A trip to the zoo or to a baseball game can work well. Having something going on outside of the date, keeps the conversation flowing. Inviting your new boyfriend to a family dinner, can work, but I have found that children sometimes feel like their territory is being invaded, and dinner conversation can sometimes be stilted and uncomfortable.
The dating rules change when you are a single mom with children. Not only must you think about what you want in a man, you also need to consider what is best for your children.
Five Rules for Single Moms Dating
- Don’t be a martyr.
- Don’t use your children as an excuse for avoiding intimacy.
- Don’t parade a variety of men around your children.
- Don’t worry if your new boyfriend and children are not immediate friends.
- Do follow your gut. Trust that you know what is best for you and your children.